The existence of Lack-of-Looky disease is real, and has an affect on moms everywhere. Not only does this disease touch children of all ages, it also inflicts dads! Chances are this disease has consumed your household and is right now working it’s way through your child’s brain. Lack-of-Looky disease continues to aggravate mother’s and in some instances creates brain combustion from “I cannot believe this is really happening” reactions. What does this mean for you and your family?
What is Lack-of-Looky?
This disease can come at any moment, perhaps you have experienced it first hand. Let’s use the following as an example: Tommy (14 year old) walks into the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. Without moving a muscle, including the ocular muscle, the child opens his mouth and yells across the house, “MOM!!! Where’s the ketchup????” This child clearly has been inflicted with Lack-of-Looky. Other examples of this disease can be found in men. One such example is a husband wandering around aimlessly asking, “have you seen my belt???”
What’s the Cure?
In the Lack-of-Looky case, the cure is never more “cowbell.” Thank you Saturday Night Live” for this classic skit, but more cowbell never fixes these situations. Mothers probably have the same reaction in almost all occurrences, “did you even look?” It still amazes moms that these instances occur several times per day. These random obnoxious questions also pop up at extremely inconvenient times, when we are incredibly busy. The ability to stop completing a task, get up, and find the lost object is a trait which should be marketable on resumes and applications.
Scientists are unable to find a cure for this reoccurring disease, and in fact there’s no answer to helping children and men afflicted with this disease. Here are some of the best tips, women have passed along:
- Ask the child if they actually “looked” or picked up items to find the missing object.
- Ask the husband where the last place is that he took off his belt.
- Scream back across the house “I don’t have time for this right now!!”
- Get up and passively aggressively search for the object, spending 0.5 minutes finding the object and holding it in front of the face of the offender.
- Ignore the question and pretend you didn’t hear anyone.
The ability to stop completing a task, get up, and find the lost object is a trait which should be marketable on resumes and applications…
This is Life
With all of the information above, mom’s deal with a ridiculous load each day. These random hysterical questions from family members can cause a mother to absolutely loose her mind! About 14 years ago, before kids, my husband and I just moved into our first apartment. He was a chef and worked odd hours and I worked in an office there by 9 a.m. every morning. Our routine consisted of him sleeping in and then stalker calling me at the office, asking where random things were (generally, it was always his belt, and to this day his belt is always missing!).
One morning, I was in the middle of a super important task, and he called. I said “I don’t know” and hung up quickly, without even saying “hello” or “good morning.” He immediately called back and I hit the silence button on my cell. He called yet again,…you can imagine my growing irritation (or maybe I was just a horrible human, IDK...) I answered the phone on the fourth ring with disgusted rage. “Babe! I don’t know where your belt is!!” he immediately yelled back into the phone, “I need to go to the emergency room! I have a fish-hook in my foot!” Yes, the most odd and incredibly weird thing that could possibly happen is what our luck in life is like. Don’t ask how he got the hook in his foot, it’s a total mystery. In fact, it’s a complete Twilight Zone story, and to this day, we have absolutely NO idea how it got there. Years later, I still haven’t stopped hearing about how I neglected him (huge eye-roll…)
Some days we just don’t want to deal with it, and some days we’re the super-human searching machine. Regardless, you’re an amazing mom! Own it! Those moments that kids have loose tentacles hanging from their body and are unable to find lost objects just breathe mamma…roll with it, and figure out a better way to keep the Lack-of-Looky disease at bay! We have buckets for everything now. We were also inflicted with another famous culprit, the “I lost my other shoe” problematic illness. After dealing with shoe loss for probably an unrealistic amount of time, and beating my head against the wall, we implemented the shoe bucket rule, a specific place for back-packs, and sock bins.
Not to say we don’t still have hiccups and oodles of missing items, it’s just so much less chaotic in the morning. I think we once found my son’s shoe behind my bed, but most of the time it was shoved under the couch and the best hiding spot ever…God only knows how it ended up there… was at the bottom of the laundry basket…seriously kids…get it together! We want to hear about your Lack-of-Looky kids & honey bunny! Swapping stories gives mom’s that laugh out loud, therapeutic, and “I’m not alone!” kind of community!