The message is loud, permeating into our core of existence daily…the idea of being a “perfect mother.” It’s rubbed all over our faces in every store, magazine, and social media outlet across the globe. The problem with perfect, is that there’s no such thing. The do-it-all era exhausts and keeps an unrealistic expectation of mothers spinning their wheels. Women are loosing a grasp of who they are, just so we can check off another box on a mile long “to-do” list. Perfection is unrealistic.
Are We the Do-It-All Era?
I’ve been discussing this topic with different mothers, and really listening to their idea of “do-it-all“, and the one question continually surfacing is: “How in the world did our mother’s make it look so simple???” An entire generation of women before us are still working!! Still being parents, and still living life on their terms. So what’s the difference? Why does our generation feel so overwhelmed? Has the idea of “doing-it-all” really changed? The answer is “absolutely YES!” Society has changed and with those changes, our neighborhoods, support system, and even technology have changed. We are moving in such a fast paced world, alone, and with a continuous message being broadcast: “get more done in a day!” Mothers can barely keep up, both mentally and physically.
Our mothers worked hard, and I mean like, hands in the dirt, using their own tool-box, bad-asses! Our generation of women are doing the same, yet adding on even more roles and hats. We are SO involved with every aspect of our kids lives, meal-prepping, running businesses on our own, and working a full-time job just to make ends meet. Times are different, we move at the speed of light, and put so much effort into all of the moving parts. Most of the time mom’s never have a moment to take a step away, are grasping for air, and can hardly breath. Maybe we need to let all of the cards we’re holding fall where they may, but how?
Get Out of Your Head
Judgement is brutal! Seriously, judging others, yourself, your past, your future…it’s all just a distraction. We are all different, diversity is incredible! Your story is not mine, and others have no idea what you have been through. So get out of your head, and quit comparing yourself to other women. Her story is not yours to tell. All of the comparison, and ideas of picture perfect being attainable is a total falsehood. That perfect Instagram mom may be fighting with her husband constantly, or dealing with a child that is super disruptive at school. We never truly know the story of another person, so why is the persona of perfect something we want to display?
What Can You Do?
For one, the pressure of perfection drowned me into not knowing which direction I was going. The atmosphere of others opinions drove me to feel as if I could never show any sign of weakness. I bottled everything inside, and drowned myself with work (my 9-5 job, then swapping over to three side gigs & raising a family). I was all kinda ways exhausted, my house was a disaster (well, that is still the same :)) and I lost myself big time. Being vulnerable is not my cup of tea, I’m the strong one, a hard-headed mother, and I don’t need help…but I did!
Here’s what I’m continually doing to help myself, because each day is different! Sometimes I’m She-Ra, banging out tasks and getting all the “to-do’s” crossed off. Some days I’m not doing a thing, and playing hooky eating lunch with a girlfriend, and of course there are days where I just want to be done with work and binge watch Netflix until bed-time. Yes, it’s ALL totally OK!! Most importantly, I’m learning to give myself a break, because I’m not perfect. Here’s my arsenal of “Perfection is a Joke” tools:
- Meditate: It doesn’t matter if this is only for 5-minutes. Sit down, go on YouTube, and find a guided meditation video. There are loads! Guess what, 5-minutes to sanity, is a life-saver!
- Talk it Out: Ummmm….yes, you need to talk about it. Get it off your chest, talk to your girlfriend, husband, wife, and/or even a therapist. Get it out into the universe because holding it in will make you combust.
- Find your Scent: Don’t knock it till you try it! Essential oils are legit amazing! What’s a scent that makes you feel utterly at peace? For me, it was peppermint and rosemary. Need help finding your “chill-out” scent? Email me, and we’ll talk it through together!
- Exercise: The tension release, and relaxation that comes after exercising is divine! Yup, you guessed it chica! Get up and get going!!
Get Away From it All
One of the best feelings is getting away from everyone and everything. This is also a great tool. You don’t have to get a hotel in a far away land and take days off. But just go somewhere you love, and be alone! Get away from other people’s energy, and let your energy start healing itself (Yes, I know that’s super-duper hippy jargon, but just try it!) Here are two really amazing ways to just heal your energy, even the old wise man Albert Einstein stated, “Energy is everything“:
- Get Outside Barefoot: did you know that your feet have the largest pores on your body? Did you also know that electrons are continually released from the earth? Standing barefoot on the earth actually allows these electrons to permeate the body, releasing healing antioxidants getting rid of free radicals, inflammation, and disease.
- Rub on the Rose: Rose essential oil is one of the most powerful oils running at 320 MHz. A healthy human body runs at 62-70 MHz. Energy is everything. What we consume has energy that can heal or harm us. Rose essential oil is super powerful and strengthens/balances the body. Rub some on the heart and throat chakras and just chill in silence.
when life throws the idea of perfection in our face, remember perfection doesn’t exist and you are pretty darn amazing at being a mom!
Quit Doing It All
You don’t have to be the cure-all for everything. If you thrive on doing that, which I did, you’re going to burn yourself out. A person can only run on empty for so long before crashing. Essentially, it’s dire to take care of yourself both mentally and physically to ensure that being balanced is a way of life. Swinging on a pendulum of intensity is bound to have long term effects such as depression, weight gain (I’m still fixing that issue), lack of energy, and mood swings.
If you ever feel that you need more than self-help, definitely seek advice from a medical professional, and remember you are NEVER alone! If you ever feel the need to vent to another non-biased person just to hear you out; email me! Or better yet, message me on Instagram/Facebook and I will sit and talk with you through anything! Don’t ever hesitate! My goal for starting this entire journey was to create support for other mom’s, and let them know they are not alone. So, when life throws the idea of perfection in our face, remember perfection doesn’t exist and you are pretty darn amazing at being a mom!!!!